Home sweet home…for me.

Well, I’m home. We’re home. The fifteen people who returned to Niceville, Florida late Saturday night to friends and family were warmly welcomed and they were acknowledged to be loved and that they were missed for the last week. It was pretty special. Every time I go out-of-town I miss my wife and children dearly. And every time I go and am near my return, I am reminded of the fact that absence does make the heart grow fonder. It was joy to my heart and sweetness to my eyes to round the corner and see my wife and two boys waiting to welcome me home. It is in these moments that God continues to teach, mold, shape, transform, and chip away at my heart as he does His work. Although I missed my family for this last week I wouldn’t trade it for anything because I must continue to pursue that calling he has placed on my life, and that calling is to simply go.

It was in these moments that I continued to reflect on the work that God did in our mission team. One of the things that I have mentioned in a previous post was our Gateway Walk in which we were able to understand homelessness a little more. We also were able to understand a little better what God is doing in relation to homelessness as well. So here I began to think through the fact that I was able to come home to people who loved me. I thought of the countless people we served this past week that did not have that. Now I know what you may be thinking because I have thought it myself at times, “for many of those isn’t it their own choice to be on the streets?” Well, yes and no. I have begun to think critically about how some of these people may have made some of those choices but I really just tried to empathize with them and have compassion on them, whether they were on the streets of their own accord or not. You see, that really didn’t matter. The fact is that they were created in God’s image and deserved to be loved, encouraged, challenged, and validated. They needed to know that someone cares. It was in these moments that I continued to be reminded that as God uses me and us to serve others He is doing a great work in us.

So with all that said, here is another one of those moments that impacted me deeply. Another of our stops on the Gateway Walk was at a memorial to the homeless. It was here that my heart was deeply saddened. At the time we were there I believe there were in between 550 and 600 names on the list. I am not sure what year they started printing the names but I believe it was some time in the 1980′s. The thing that was the most disturbing was the fact that there were so many names on that list that were simply placed as either JOHN or JANE DOE. Really? This is the sobering reality in our country that so many of us NEVER have to think about. There are people OUT THERE that are UNKNOWN. Maybe many of them are mentally ill and/or have drug addictions but still, they are UNKNOWN. I was convicted to spend more time in prayer not only for the homeless but also for those that are homeless that are UNKNOWN. I can not even begin to imagine not knowing where one of my loved ones are or what they were doing. My father in law had an older brother that went missing when he was in his early twenties and this experience challenged me to think through how my father in law and his family felt and experienced when they just did not KNOW where he was or what he was doing. That was over thirty years ago and they still do not KNOW where he is or what may have happened to him. Could he have been a JOHN DOE or could he still be out there somewhere?

So the image that you see above is right outside a beautiful church called Church of the Holy Trinity. I am not calling it beautiful  because it is necessarily a beautiful building, although it was. I am calling it that because they do something beautiful every second Tuesday of the month. It is on that day that they hold a service to remember the FORGOTTEN and the UNKNOWN. You could find more info about this beautiful church at this address: http://www.holytrinitytoronto.org/wp/justice-work/homeless-memorial/. Also, please be sure to give thanks to the Lord for this beautiful community of faithful followers of Jesus who have a desire to live the lives that God has called them to live. And please give thanks to the Lord for the fact that you and I have a home sweet home and pray for those that do not. Also give thanks, that ultimately our “home sweet home” is a place  that Jesus is preparing for us. (See John 14:1-3)

Finally, I am reminded of our mission team’s discussion the night of our Gateway Walk experience. What is the solution to homelessness? Will we ever fully resolve the crisis of homelessness? Of course we realized that the answer is no. We can only come up with solutions to better minimize the problem of homelessness. We all realized that this side of Heaven there will always be crisis, sin, accidents, natural disaster’s, and brokenness. But we all also realized that our hope is not in this world, but rather in the world to come where we will be with our Heavenly Father where He will say, welcome home sweet home.

Leaving Canada

Well, later on today we will be flying home. I wish I had the time to have blogged every single day while we were here but it was just not possible. The main issue was exhaustion! Early mornings coupled with late nights, sleeping on the floor packed into a room with too many people, and at times being overwhelmed emotionally and spiritually made the week tough. But with all that said I am not sure that any of us would trade it for anything in the world. We all had a spiritually charged week of service. God has continued to use us and draw us nearer to His heart.

This morning as I write I thinking about blogging about Toronto for the next week or so. I will give you a little more insight on what we have experienced and some of the people we met. The one thought I have today pertains to the Gateway Shelter City Walk that we did earlier this week. The Gateway Shelter is a Salvation Army ministry for the homeless in Toronto. While in some cases our time spent there wasn’t quite what we thought it was in many ways it opened our eyes to the reality the homelessness. It also challenged us to not take things for granted. During our walk there were really two things that had a large impact on me. I will share about one of them today and will share about the other in another blog post very soon.

One of the staff people from Gateway was a man named Anthony. He was basically our guide for the walk. He shared his story and the story of living on the streets in Toronto. It was amazing to hear and experience first hand what his life had been like on the streets. He shared things about his life that were astounding. The fact that he is alive is a testament to God’s grace. Hearing the challenges in life he has had makes you wonder how this man had survived the streets. Anthony at one time had been a crack addict and had also been in and out of jail his entire life. During a slide show before we left the shelter for our walk we saw at least 10-12 mug shots of him from each time he had been arrested. He even told us about what life was like in prison when he had been incarcerated. It was interesting that we also had a discussion about “rehabilitation.” How does a young man like him have hope in a system that too often is set up to not rehabilitate him and give him hope for a life on the outside. I walked away praying and wondering what were the best solutions for people who are on the streets.

But with all that said here is one of the things that really stood out to me. We walked by a church called Jarvis Street Baptist Church. Our Youthworks staff shared a story about this historic church in downtown Toronto. They asked us why we might think that there are iron fences around all the entrances to the church. After a few moments and a few answers thrown out they simply shared “to keep the homeless out.” You see, there had been a time in the churches history in which the staff of the church would show up in the mornings to discover that homeless men and women had entered into the building to go sleep in the basement. The solution was to install iron fences around all of the entrances to keep people OUT. Really? Church? What is the purpose of THE church? Now, I am not saying that there is an easy solution to this situation. But, what I am questioning is when and how would a CHURCH be about keeping certain people OUT so that certain people could go IN. I know that the heart of God weeps over this. This goes against everything that Jesus taught us in His holy word. Matthew chapter 25 speaks clearly to the reality that what we have done for the least of those among us we have done to and for Him, Jesus. That is the heart of God. To look another human being in the eye and to treat him with dignity, love, and respect, regardless of his or her lot in life. I believe this is one of the biggest challenges of the church today.

Finally, here is another reality. We are talking about an organization that put up fences to keep people OUT. Now I want to ask us as individuals, have you and I put up “fences” as well to keep people OUT? When I reflect on my life I want to please God in everything I do, especially whether I truly love others in the way that He calls me to. Too often I am afraid that we keep people OUT and when we do so, we miss the opportunity to be salt and light. Remember that salt that loses its saltiness is no longer GOOD FOR ANYTHING and is THROWN OUT AND TRAMPLED UNDERFOOT. (Matthew 5:13) Ouch.

My hope and prayer is that the group of students that came to love the marginalized in the city of Toronto understand that. And that they choose to live a life of salt and light and that they please God by doing so. With that said, to God be the glory. Amen.

Mission Toronto Midweek

So, here we are on Wednesday night. Our students are doing amazing. They are all having incredible experiences within our community but also out in the community they are serving. There are a total of five churches staying here for the Youthworks week. One group is from Ottawa and another is from KapisKasing Canada. Then there are two other groups from the states. One is from Virginia and the other from Minnesota. We are all making new friends and we are having a great time learning about Canadian culture from them. There has been a ton of laughter as we have served alongside one another.  Anyhow, just a few places we have been serving are The Scott Mission near Chinatown in Toronto was incredible as we were able to serve the homeless a meal and share the love of Christ with them. One of our other groups has made significant progress in loving and serving people at the Florence Booth House. This place is awesome! We have been serving alongside mentally challenged adults who are working there and the relationships that have been built has filled hearts to overflowing! Also the Ina Grafton Gage House is a place that we have been serving. This is a home for the elderly in which most have dementia. We did a chapel service for them, painted with them, did sing alongs, assisted in feeding at one point, and just have generally spent time with them to talk. This has been a challenging ministry for some of us but has been extremely rewarding! Two other places that one of our groups served is St. Jude’s Academy of the Arts for special needs and also the Hope Shelter. The Hope Shelter is just one of the homeless missions here in Toronto that we have been serving.

One thing I must tell you is that you must know how incredible our students are at NicevilleUMC. I have seen them be the first ones to step up to the plate over and over again. I love seeing them during our worship time mostly sitting at the front of the room and actively engaged. I love seeing them be the first to say “I’ll do it” when someone needs something done. I am very proud of the way they have been an example in the community this week.

Finally, here are a few shots of our “home away from home” this week. It is the East Toronto Citadel Church of the Salvation Army. We have enjoyed the floor all week. The accommodations have been some what of a challenge at times but we have over come them. Cramming so many students in one space on the floor can be a bit of a challenge but I do not think that I have heard a single student complain. They have loved it and they are doing awesome!

Day One-Toronto 2011

What a great day it has been. I sit here in a hotel room in Toronto, Canada so excited about what God is already doing in our hearts. We have had a few challenges today but nothing that the Lord couldn’t handle! One of the things that God often teaches us when we enter into another culture/country is that we have to be incredibly patient and we must trust in Him. It becomes very apparent in times such as these. Our students are doing awesome and we have spent the day getting settled before we head tomorrow to meet the rest of the community of faith that we will be serving with here in Toronto. One night of sleeping in a bed in a hotel before we hit the floor of a church for the next week. It will be so worth it. We had an incredible time of worship in our hotel lobby tonight. A few of the guys had even invited a family that they had met while playing basketball. The family was on vacation from New York and came in to sing with us. It was great to have them with us and it was cool in that they both had graduate degrees from the University of Florida. The volume of the voices were a sweet aroma in that place. As a group we discussed two passages referring to God choosing each of us to be a blessing to others. That is what we want to do this week as we serve God by serving others. We want to bless others and glorify the name of Jesus. So we looked at the first three verses in Genesis 12 when God calls Abram. Our hearts desire is to be obedient to God and realize that we are chosen in the same way to be a blessing to others. The other passage we looked at was 1 Peter 2:9 in which we are called a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and God’s special possession. What great news! But it doesn’t end there…we have a responsibility to declare the praises of Him who called us out of darkness and into His wonderful light. So that is what we must do this week – declare His praises in everything we say, in everything we do, and in everything that we are. Our hope and prayer is that you would join us in doing the same wherever you are. Grace and peace to you in the name of the Lord Jesus.

called by name

This mornings’ reading of My Utmost was good. I needed it today. I have been in a weird kind of mood for the last several days. I go back and forth between joy and frustration concerning some ministry stuff going on. I have to constantly remind myself that I am just a steward of what God has entrusted and that He will do the work in the lives of teenagers. Too often I think I might just be getting in the way. Anyway, what I needed this morning was what Mary received in John 20:11-18. Mary didn’t recognize Jesus until he called her by name. That is way cool to me. The fact that the Creator of the Universe knows me by name absolutely blows my mind. The fact that I have a relationship with Him through the blood of Christ reminds me of my worth in His eyes. I am also reminded of my unworthiness without Him. The fact that He knew me first and loved me first while I was yet a sinner causes me to stir internally with joy and gratefulness. And for today, I needed to be quiet enough to hear His voice call my name. Today, just as He did for Mary in this passage, I needed Him to speak my name with love and tenderness. I am reminded of the voice parents use when getting the attention of a child. You know the voice, firm with the usage of your entire name- first, middle, and last. You know that when one of your parents uses that voice they mean to get your attention and get it quickly. Now, think about the complete opposite of that…hopefully you know that voice from a parent as well. My Panamanian mother says to me, “mi corazon.” When she says that to me I know that she means that I am “her heart” or sometimes in spanish it goes without saying that it means “my love.” It is tender, sweet, and adoring. So this is how our Abba Father calls us, tenderly and with compassion, care, and love. This is not the calling of your name when He first calls you to follow Him necessarily, it is the calling of your name when you need encouragement and compassion. Today I needed that, I needed to hear Him call me tenderly by name. I just had to be quiet enough to hear Him. And by the way, so do you. Be still and know that He is God and that He calls you tenderly by name.

another way to think about it

I was reading a book recently in which the author quoted Galatians 5:22-23. As I began to read those verses  I began to basically say them from memory. You and I know these verses as the “Fruits of the Spirit.” So as I began to say them from memory it occurred to me that the translation in which I had memorized those verses was different from the translation in which the author used. When I got to the word ”patience” I realized that the King James version of the bible obviously calls patience “longsuffering.” I paused and meditated for a moment on “longsuffering.” Wow…a little bit of a different perspective for me when it comes to patience and longsuffering. I think too often we just think of being patient as waiting on something. Too often we miss the richness of the meaning when we think of waiting in a manner that can be long and it can cause us to suffer. Let me provide a few examples: losing weight, building character, and spiritual growth. In our “have it now” oriented culture we cannot tolerate the thought of having to wait, work, and suffer for the end result. We want weight loss, integrity, and full devotion and we want it now! We have to remember that we may need to stick with the program and suffer for a period of time that will build character and discipline. Hmmm…this is starting to sound like a familiar passage.

Romans 5:3-4 says:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Interesting that this passage even says to REJOICE in that suffering! The end result will build perseverance, character, & hope. I don’t know about you but I need all of those qualities!

After that I looked up the same passage in Galatians to see how The Message translation reads. It says this in regards to patience : we develop a willingness to stick with things. That’s what I need, a willingness to stick with things through the long haul. I know that the end result will be worth it! I have to be willing to stick with it through the suffering to build those qualities in my life that will be so worth it in the end. So just remember, the “suffering” will turn to perseverance and then it will build character and ultimately give you hope. So stick with whatever it is that God is building in your life.

giving God the best

Hilarious discussion today with Caleb and Brennan: We were talking about how Hannah gave Samuel back to the Lord. I asked the boys which one should be taken to the church to live because we were giving one of them to the Lord. Caleb spoke quickly by saying, “I’m the best!” He didn’t even realize what he had walked into…I said, “Ok Caleb, we’re giving you to the Lord and we’re taking you to the church to live!” It was really awesome to see his confused face (while Brennan laughed.) Then Christina and I explained to him how we should always give our best to the Lord. What an awesome teachable moment for all of us!

In Such a Way

               This morning I was compelled to write my thoughts about a certain Winter Olympic blunder. His name is Sven Kramer and he is Dutch. At this time he is the most dominant distance skater in the world. Kramer had already won Gold in the 5,000 meter and now he was dominating the 10,000 meter. He only had eight laps to go when his coach sent him to the wrong lane. Because of this blunder Kramer was disqualified. If my understanding is correct about skating the 10,000 meter race is 25 laps. So in other words, Kramer raced the first 17 laps with no problem and everyone watching knew that he would win Gold. Unforeseen circumstances were probably not in anyone’s mind. But these “unforeseen” circumstances would eventually strip not only the Gold from his hands but any medal. Will everyone look back at the 2010 Winter Olympics and remember who the faster skater was in the 10,000 meter or will everyone remember who won the Gold? Will there be an asterisk in the history books? I do not know for sure but one thing I do know is that Sven Kramer may know that he is the fastest skater out there but – he is the fastest skater WITHOUT a Gold medal in the 10,000 meter.
                 Thinking about this story made me think about life in general and how so often in life many men run roughly half the race and then they do something to get them “disqualified from the race.” When I say that I am not meaning that they necessarily “lose their salvation.” Only the Lord knows whether that would happen or not in some of these situations. But I do know this: when we get half way through a race and make major life decisions that affect our entire family and the rest of our lives there is a sort of “disqualification” that happens. The prize of joy that God gives us when we are on our deathbeds and we can reflect on our lives and have joy is stripped away when we have our “midlife crises.” I recall an author named Steve Farrar talking about the fact that we needed to “finish strong.” My hope and my prayer is that I will do just that…that I will be aware of those “unforeseen” circumstances that can hinder me from experienceing the joy of finishing strong. I/you/we need to choose to be aware of God’s expectations for our lives so that we will finish the race and not be disqualified. And how can we know what God’s expectations are for the race when we spend hardly any time with Him? We need to run in such a way as to get the prize. Will you join me?

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. – 1 Corinthians 9: 24-27

smile

So I am reading a Kurt Vonnegut book called A Man Without a Country. I have never read any Vonnegut but I have always heard great things about him. This book appears to be a little different from his other writing though. It says that this is the closest that we will ever get to a memoir. Interesting thing though is how disturbing the ending is for me. You see, Vonnegut is 82 years old when he writes this book and it is written about two years before his death.  It seems to me that near the end of life Vonnegut is saying that life is pretty hopeless. At one point he even says, ” life is no way to treat an animal.” Ouch.

I needed to pause for a moment because I was getting fairly depressed even though I do not agree with Vonnegut whatsoever. I looked out my front window and notice a man ride by on his bike. This man I know from seeing frequently at another place in our community. Funny thing is that when I saw him ride by I thought to myself one word…scowl. Reason? Every time I see this guy, which is about once a week, he has a scowl on his face. He is an older gentleman that I would guess is in his mid to late sixties. No kidding really, he usually has this expression on his face of sheer misery. As a matter of fact, as I read this morning I thought that is what Vonnegut must look  like.

Hmmmm…so, I turned the television on for a few minutes. I noticed there is a video coming on VH1 by Uncle Kracker. The song is called “smile.” This is just what I needed. The chorus:

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Now, I can only imagine, like most songs, that this song is about a girl that makes him smile. What I really think is cool is that it can be so applicable to Jesus who does the same. Check out this other part of the same song:

Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Wow…that could be anyone describing their Lord and Savior. As a matter of fact, that could be me describing the Jesus that rescued me, gave me hope for a future, and makes me smile.

Yes, I struggle with folks sometimes who can’t seem to wipe the scowl off of their face, or who share the hopelessness and misery of our days. But this I know: God is sovereign over all of creation. He has it firmly in His grasp. He has me firmly in His grasp. What a beautiful Savior. What a beautiful Lord. What beautiful life He gives.

And, He makes me smile.

two amazing little boys

So this year I was out of town the day of my Nina’s birthday. I was at the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta and was expected to return home the day of her birthday. So I did what I should have done and set some things in motion so that she could still have a great day. Little did I know that my two amazing little boys were going to make it even that much more special for their mom. I made sure that I got a couple of cards for Nina, one from the boys that they could sign and one from me. I knew that Nina wanted to get her hair done so I made sure that I called and got her an appointment. I also got her a gift card to the mall from the boys and I. I know it doesn’t sound too romantic but I knew with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the get togethers associated with work and family coming she would appreciate a gift card for some new clothes. (And I am sure that she would not have appreciated the clothes that I would have picked out!) Anyway, it was so simple but yet so well thought out. I gave the boys the cards and the gift card to give to their mother the morning of her birthday. Little did I know that they were going to plan something a little extra and also very special. The day before her birthday they took a pizza box and cut it to create a tray that they could use to make momma breakfast in bed. They also climbed to the top of a closet to find a gift bag that they could put all the cards and special homemade letters and drawings that they did for her. So on the morning of Nina’s birthday two little boys walked into their mother’s room and gave her breakfast: a bowl of cereal, her favorite yogurt, and a banana. They also took the time to write something special on the tray. Wow, two amazing little boys that Nina and I get the privilege of raising to be amazing young men. I am probably not even close to being the best dad in the world but on this day they made me feel as if I had done some things right. Caleb and Brennan are hopefully learning to be noble young men of character that treat the women in their lives with the greatest of respect and character. God you are so good, and today I thank you for those two special little fella’s that you have placed in my life. God, your love endures forever.